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\nSo much has happened in the last 18 months. At the risk of repeating a few things, I will fill you in.
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\nOctober of 2015, I had my ovaries removed. My oncologist came around and recommended this option as a "leaving no stone unturned" to prevent recurrence. Eddie and I thought it was a no brainer and moved on it. The procedure was easy enough and the surgeon was gracious by avoiding my beautiful tattoo so it could remain untouched and perfect.
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\nFast forward to spring of 2016. This is where I hit a wall of self loathing for a short period. See, as it turns out, menopause sucks! Nevermind the occasional hotflash that begins to come on slowly, building from the surface at the center of my chest, up my neck through my scalp and down my back, followed by beads of sweat pooling on my forehead, and dripping down my spine, only to be followed by the need for a blanket because I'm cold as the heat stops but the sweat is left behind keeping my clothes damp. The biggest issue that will be a constant source of work and energy, keeping the weight gain at bay.
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\nSpring 2016, I tried to put on a pair of pants, and for the first time in a really long time, I realized I could not make the buttons come together, not even within two inches. Honestly, I about lost my marbles. I don't make it a practice to weigh myself, so this revelation was a bit painful, and eye opening. A couple of weeks prior, the family and I were on vacation. Everyone wanted to go to the pool one particular day, but for some reason I didn't. See up until that day, I kept telling myself that I was building muscle in my quad/ hamstring/ glut area because I was doing jui jitsu, and that's why things were a bit snug. Well, when I couldn't stand the thought of flaunting my muscular buns, I knew I was ashamed of my body.
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\nI felt at a loss. I was saddened and bewildered that I had put on not just weight, but several unhealthy inches. My oncologist was surprised and reminded me that I was not supposed to put weight on. She reminded me that while I may be eating well, I needed to consume less calories, and increase my exercise. I knew I had to take control, so I started doing research on how to eat as a menopausal woman, the best exercise regimen, how to curb the hot flashes. There isn't much out there, at least not that I could find.
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\nAnywho... I did decide to contact a friend of mine who has become extra special, and I've been working out with her as my personal trainer for the last year, two days a week, followed by her HIIT class one day a week. My booty had lifted, my quads/ hamstrings are stronger and muscular. My pants have gone up in size, but because my body is in a healthier state, it's ok. It's not to say that I want to run around in a bikini with skimpy bottoms, cause believe me, I do not. I've got cheesy thighs even though they are muscular and strong. But I do wear two piece swim suits with swim shorts for bottoms. I mean, I have to show my crazy beautiful artwork!
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\nThe message to walk away with today is you take control now of your health. I mean, in addition to getting your "girls" checked and checking them yourself, take note of changes in your body, the inches creeping on, the achy joints when going from sitting to standing, and do something about it now. We have but one life to live, so live it now, live it healthy. Healthy doesn't mean don't eat what you want, and don't drink what you want. It does mean being aware, being present, being conscious, making the best choices for now and planning for the future. We aren't 25 or 30, we are 40+ and need to create life long habits to be good to ourselves because we deserve it, and we want to live independently as long as possible.
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\nTake care of you. I am taking care of me.