I've been back to work for a week and a half, and I've completed my first week of radiation.
Back to work has been good. I've begun working on some projects I really enjoy sinking my brain into. I'm up early by nature, and have reestablished my early morning now that I'm past the life energy sucking chemo. Things are a little different on the work front and initially caused anxiety, but self dialogue has cured the anxiety!
Radiation has been interesting. The longest session was day one. A few reasons for day one long session: I wore a one piece dress to work. This meant longer time getting undressed and redressing. Another reason, although they put tattoo dots for aligning the laser/radiation beams, they needed to mark me with a marker, take some images, review and get approval by the attending physician. The radiation itself was only a total of 1 minute if even that long.
The visible side effect is the pink tint to my left breast area. It got deeper as the week progressed, and so far has not been irritating. The physical side effect has been fatigue. Initially I attributed the fatigue to being back to work, not sleeping a entire night uninterrupted, and juggling a few things I haven't in a while. But in reality I have come to terms and freely admitted by weeks end it is primarily the radiation. A nap is the best cure and when I get home you bet I am napping. 4 more weeks and I'm on my way to normal again.
My hair is about an inch long now, and my scalp is still visible. But I'm not wearing Bonnie or any hats, or is too hot and frankly I am comfortable with the world seeing my baldness.
My dead nails have mostly grown out and starting to look normal again. Probably another month and they'll be nice and healthy! The small things we take for granted sure are pronounced when they change for reasons beyond our control.
On a different note- someone recently asked me if my attitude of positivity has ever wavered from the posts I publish or the way I present myself publicly, and how I remain unwavering. I have been thinking about her question daily and I can honestly say I have never wavered in my positive outlook and perspective. In past posts I think I've mentioned I am not an emotional person a few times. I'm pretty sure it also says that I tend not to worry about what I don't yet know and that I will know what I need to know when I need to know it. That is a large part of staying positive for me. Knowing what needs to be known, when necessary; believing everything will work itself out; not thinking about "what if"; living for and in the present; being grateful for what I have, not bitter about what I don't possess or what I want to have. I'm not sure how much Any of this makes sense to you. For me, bottom line is loving and accepting myself fleas, warts, imperfections and all, first. I have found over the years that if I remain true to this concept, it attracts others with similar mindset and we help lift each other when we can't be strong enough for ourselves.
So thank you all for being my pillars. Embrace all you are, all you have been blessed with and, and living in this moment now.
Back to work has been good. I've begun working on some projects I really enjoy sinking my brain into. I'm up early by nature, and have reestablished my early morning now that I'm past the life energy sucking chemo. Things are a little different on the work front and initially caused anxiety, but self dialogue has cured the anxiety!
Radiation has been interesting. The longest session was day one. A few reasons for day one long session: I wore a one piece dress to work. This meant longer time getting undressed and redressing. Another reason, although they put tattoo dots for aligning the laser/radiation beams, they needed to mark me with a marker, take some images, review and get approval by the attending physician. The radiation itself was only a total of 1 minute if even that long.
The visible side effect is the pink tint to my left breast area. It got deeper as the week progressed, and so far has not been irritating. The physical side effect has been fatigue. Initially I attributed the fatigue to being back to work, not sleeping a entire night uninterrupted, and juggling a few things I haven't in a while. But in reality I have come to terms and freely admitted by weeks end it is primarily the radiation. A nap is the best cure and when I get home you bet I am napping. 4 more weeks and I'm on my way to normal again.
My hair is about an inch long now, and my scalp is still visible. But I'm not wearing Bonnie or any hats, or is too hot and frankly I am comfortable with the world seeing my baldness.
My dead nails have mostly grown out and starting to look normal again. Probably another month and they'll be nice and healthy! The small things we take for granted sure are pronounced when they change for reasons beyond our control.
On a different note- someone recently asked me if my attitude of positivity has ever wavered from the posts I publish or the way I present myself publicly, and how I remain unwavering. I have been thinking about her question daily and I can honestly say I have never wavered in my positive outlook and perspective. In past posts I think I've mentioned I am not an emotional person a few times. I'm pretty sure it also says that I tend not to worry about what I don't yet know and that I will know what I need to know when I need to know it. That is a large part of staying positive for me. Knowing what needs to be known, when necessary; believing everything will work itself out; not thinking about "what if"; living for and in the present; being grateful for what I have, not bitter about what I don't possess or what I want to have. I'm not sure how much Any of this makes sense to you. For me, bottom line is loving and accepting myself fleas, warts, imperfections and all, first. I have found over the years that if I remain true to this concept, it attracts others with similar mindset and we help lift each other when we can't be strong enough for ourselves.
So thank you all for being my pillars. Embrace all you are, all you have been blessed with and, and living in this moment now.